Love

I have found that the hardest days of my life come from waiting for love in my life to begin. I have also found that the best days of my life come from those days where I have had love but have not yet found it. Now I believe some of the best days of my life will come when love in my life has finally arrived. Love is hard to find but I hope it is just around the corner waiting for me and ready to say I love you, I have always loved you, now let us finally begin our lives together. Love is the greatest thing of all, so after all of this time don't I deserve to finally find love and fall in love and have my love finally be realized. After all the hoping, after all the yearning, after all the faith I have had in love all I can now believe is that love will be coming right away to find me and I will know that I am now alive.

Life in the making

All I want is love sometimes. All I want is freedom sometimes. All I want is to break down the despairs of yearning and go out and find the life that I always wanted and start living it. I want to fall in love, deep passionate love, the one kind of love that everyone dreams of and hopes for, the kind that life was meant to be all about. Where is love in the world today? Where can I find the love I have always wanted, and yet seems to elude me? It seems to be out there and so close, and yet I still cannot grasp it. Where can I find it and when can this journey of love and life begin, and when I am allowed to enjoy the sweet savor of the joys of life that I have missing out on my whole life?

New line

"During my life I found out find that the best days of my were those spent living my life."

Brian

Finding love and life amidst waiting for love and life

I have found that whilst waiting for love and life to begin I have to find love and life somehow amidst all of this waiting around for it to come. We all search, strive, and ponder for the next best thing to come but while we are waiting what do we do to live the life we are in right now? Look at it in a positive way and you'll be ok but the waiting just makes it that much better! I want so much and need so much that it is hard to find joy in life while you are waiting for that life to begin! Whilst I am waiting I have found that the joy is in the journey and you have only have one life to live, so let's get going. I find love from afar, life whilst I am waiting in the love from afar, and hope and faith continue on this crazy journey we call life. I want to love my life and I so do at times, but I don't at times, and that is the problem within itself, I want to love my life all the time! Let us continue to find love in life, and let us find faith in the journey within itself, all knowing that it will work itself out, and the life you have always wanted will begin as soon as possible, and I know that this has to start soon, well because there is only one life to live.

Thank you for your time, signing off for today, Brian Robert Gardner

What makes the world go round?

We all fly, move at a different pace. Don't we? We all learn, grow at a different pace. So let us grow, learn, and learn to be at peace with another. We all should strive to love more, hurt less. We all should learn to work together more, and learn to have more faith in each other. Let us strive for that hope, that faith, that love that only works when we do it together. Learn to let it be, and learn to love each other more. We are all afraid at times, so why can't we learn to share secrets that will ease our pain and our heartaches in a way that says let us live for today. I hope to find my peace amidst this world of turmoil in a sense of joy that says can't wait to meet you.

Happiness

What is it to you? For me my search for happiness lands on one word: health. For others it may differ, but all of us are searching after the same thing aren't we? Happiness is the ultimate search, for some it may come easily, for others not so much. Happiness is infectious, it spreads like wildfire, then it lands at home - where it should be and where you can always find it, and that it is where hope resides. I see it everywhere, in a beautiful smile for one, and in a true friend for another. Where in the world can you find your own happiness, well the search continues for some and for others the search has ended because they are free of their own demons and have reached a place of serenity and peace.

Well I am signing for today - from Brian

Love

As we continue on in this crazy journey we call life, I am truly seeking for peace, serenity, and something that I have never truly had, and that is love. As a 30 year old man I wonder why is it so elusive? Why is it so hard to find all the time? I wonder if it will hit me or will I have to go out and find it. I want somebody who loves me for me, not just someone who falls head over heals for me after I chase her for a while. I want our love to be mutual, not just someone who I have to chase around the world to get, and I truly hope I can find it soon. It is something that seems to elude me and yet something that I want so badly. All I ever look for in this life is pure clean health, a truly happy fulfilled life, and again well someone to fall in love with. I look, I search, I ponder and yet I can only hope that one day soon I will find someone who loves me for me and someone who understands me and trusts me. I wonder after all these years of chasing that maybe the tables can turn and a woman can find me and we can mutually fall in true love. I believe I deserve that after so many heartbreaks, and so many times waiting for the phone to ring, and so many times wanting it so bad, and yet it continues to be just out of my reach. A love that can be found in a way that will truly knock me off my feet and lye me down and I can turn to her and not have to say one word, and we can both just know that this is just right. It is right in the moment, it is right when we are not together, and it is just right all the time. I yearn for that day to come quickly so I can learn to love and so I can stop hoping for it come, and after all these years that it will just be there whenever I need it. And as the clock continues to turn, I continue to wonder how much longer until I find that woman who just knows as much as I do that love can truly change a person in a way that is indescribable and just knows for once and for all that we love each other so much that nothing needs to be said. All we have to day is look into each other's eyes and just know that is what life is all about. Sometimes the waiting is the hardest part. But all I know is that I have hope and that this love will truly begin in my life at the exact moment it is supposed to, and in that moment I will want to sing hallelujah all the way home after our lips touch, our hearts beat as one, and after we both just say, I love you.

What are we waiting for?

When you get depressed where do you go to find solace, peace of mind and a little hope? I go to a friend, to a place where no can find me, and still it's very hard to find a moment of peace amidst this world of so much well, fear. Where in the world are my fiends and why can't we meet? A happy moment, a sad one, an emotional one, and well what do you get, a day in the life of Brian Gardner for one. It's time for a change in my life and all I need to know is where do I go when it's time to leave the past behind and head fora brighter future, well I don't know, and if I did I would not still be typing this blog, I would be out living my life instead of hoping for it to change.

At the end of the day

Once we look back on life, what will say? What was it all about? Well it was about love, it was about regrets, and well it was about the journey. The joy is in the journey, and the end result, it can be about both, and yet all we need to know is that if we keep hoping and never start living then we will have never really learned how to accept and enjoy the ups and downs of life while learning that life is about dancing in the rain while waiting for the rain to stop and the sun to start shining. Rainbows will come, the rain will dry and once it does glorify in it, love it, live it, and always remember what got you there.

Life and Love

Love is beauty, love is hope, love is all knowing, all forgetting, all love might be summed up in one sentence and that is complicated. I hope and yearn for love, I look for it, search for it, and one day hope to find it, where I'm not sure all I know is it might be somewhere closer or farther than I think. I look around and see beauty and love but I cannot grasp it, sense it, touch it, it eludes me, it's like it wants to touch me feel me hold me, and yet I cannot grab hold, I just wait and wait and one day I hope it will find me while I am dreaming of someone to touch me and take me on the ride of my life.

"Fashion fades, style lasts forever" Eves Saint Laurent

I was watching Breakfast at Tiffany's again today and I could not imagine a more beautiful woman than Ms. Audrey Hepburn. Her ease, her beauty, her fluidity, her style, her serenity was unimaginably good. I believe style and fashion can change the world, it has power and it is truly inspirational. If you look closely you can see well beauty that goes beyond the outside and flows into the inside. Look at that beautiful woman and see a little smirk sometimes that says if you be happy then you will be beautiful. Be healthy, be happy, be wondrous, be who you truly are then you will be truly beautiful. I want and wish for all the world where we look at each other and say wow you make me feel happy and I want that in my life. Audrey inspired the world and I love her for it, and I always will. Style, beauty, ease, serenity, don't we all seek it, don't we all desire it, don't we all find it to be well inspirational to the point that we say thank you Audrey we love you, we miss you, we hope you are well, well then let's bring that style back! She is an inspiration to me and all I have to say is thank you for your beauty. I try to bring that into my life and go from there. Just feel the flow and the rhythm of an Audrey and might just find that you've got all you need right within yourself, so go seek it, find it, and let it fly.

What matters in life?

When things don't matter in life, they tend to be the best part of life. When you reach serenity you tend to find that life is better than you could ever think it could be, You don't say I wish or I hope you say thank God I have made this far and have accomplished so much. Do you tend to be grateful? Do you look at life differently and say I have accomplished enough let's move on or do you tend to say I don't care anymore. I look at life and say why do I care so much? Why do I give a fuck? Let us all take a look around and say does this matter? To me it does to others it doesn't.

Love in the real world

Where I have found love is in the journey of life. With the ups and downs we find that love can hold us up even when we are in dire need of real love. I look to friendship for love, not always for physical and sexual love to be the love that might be the kind of love you need right now. What we need is always not what we desperately want, but it can can help us get to where we have always and will always want. First we find friendship then we find best friends then we find what has always been wanted by friends who are far away yet so close. I desire love, true love, yet cannot always or really be had, it is a hard balance but it can be dealt with by having a friend who truly loves you for who you are and who you will be. Friendship can heal wounds, lift barriers, give hope, and help you find who you truly are amidst a relationship that hasn't yet begun.

Acting in the real world

We are all actors according to Marlon Brando. And I wholeheartedly agree. When you change outfits, do you not feel like a completely different person? If you are wearing casual versus dress up you are a completely different person are you not? When you wear a different pair of shoes or socks don't you just feel different in the ones you are wearing depending on the type and the feel of them. You might feel less confident or more confident, or you might feel more beautiful or you might just feel weird or off or maybe you might feel just right on the money. Every where you look people are hiding or showing off or they are just being themselves, and boy let me tell it is hard to play yourself in this world of ups and downs and positives and negatives. Sometimes you just got to fake it until you make it you know what I mean. If you are faking it you will eventually catch up to who you really want to be and I guess that's the whole point. As we live day to day just look around and see how everyone is usually and often playing a character of some type. Whatever that person is doing they are playing a role. A father, a mother, a sister, a brother, and so on. We are all just faking it most of the time, and once we hit the jack pot and figure out who we really are well then we'll probably be just fine and happy as can be just like it should be, and that is what we are all looking for everyday, and that's just what I believe at this point and moment in my life. So keep going, never give up hope, and always, always, stay true to yourself and you'll be just fine.

Signing off for today

Your faithful friend on this crazy journey we call life

Brian Robert Gardner

What Dreams May Come

It is very difficult to live your life moment to moment, day to day, trying, striving to make each day count, to make every moment count. Most of us, I am guessing in this day and age are living for the next thing, we are looking for the grass to be greener, for our lives to be better in an instant. And yet the problem is we are missing out on everything that is happening right now. If we would just stop and look around for a while, we won't miss it at all, we will instead be free from our fears and our insecurities, and we will learn to live in the right way, and in the right manner. To dream is a good thing though, the hard part is getting there. We wake up each day hoping that this day we'll be the day that changes our life for the better, and yet we forget to live our lives, because we are to busy to see that life is right in front of us ready, and willing to let us have all that we want right now. It is hard to wait for your dreams to come true, but let us not forget that life can be good even while we are waiting for our real lives to begin.

Thank you for listening, your ever faithful friend on this journey we call life.

Brian Robert Gardner

Human Civility

We are all searching for the same things in life, aren't we? We have to realize that our similarities outweigh our differences in so many ways. And yet there is still so much hatred in the world. And I am here to ask why. Why is there so much hatred in a world made up of human beings that eat, drink, and strive for the all the same things.  Why are we so brisk and cold to another? I think we all need a lesson in civility. Let us find it within ourselves to be kinder, to be friendlier, to be happier, to be more open to one another's beliefs, and to be a little more understanding of one another. It's not that hard, just look throughout your day for opportunities to be kind to one another. We all breath the same air, we are all searching for happiness, we all want the same things, so instead of doing this thing we call life against each other, let us all do it together and it will make things a whole lot easier for the lot of us. I promise. As we all search for meaning and peace of mind in this world, and as we all strive to find our own individual truths throughout our lives and our days, l think it can be found in each and every one of us. Life is great when we do it together, when we look out for each other; less fighting, more humanity I say. Of course it is easier said than done, but let's see what happens when we all realize how similar we all are to each other and let's let civility reigns free. Let us look for beauty, hope, love, kindness, truth, and faith in one another, and let's see where that takes us. We all have so much to live for, let us regret nothing, and always remember to dare to disturb the universe.

Thank you all for listening, your ever faithful friend on this crazy journey we call life,

Brian Gardner

Life

Sometimes life can overwhelming. But the key I believe to overcoming all the things you want to is just by trusting the fact that hopefully things will all work out. It is a hard thing to do to have faith and hope at the same time. But the beauty of it is that they work so gloriously well together. We start with hope we move to faith then we have hope for the result we desire. All we have to do in this life is to continue on the path and I hope we will find our way home again.

Hope is a good thing

Let us all look a little deeper and find that hope that instills courage in all of us. It's there let's just find it, wherever it may be. I for one can see hope in all of humanity, it's hard to find sometimes, but there it is the rainbow after the rain, the sun rising after the darkness had persisted. We grow, we learn, we persevere, we keep going, we don't stop, we just fight our way out of the darkness. Always knowing that after the storm comes the hope that keeps us going through life.

The Past, The Present, and The Future

Time is a relative thing, right? It can go so fast, so slow, and it also can go so embarrassing quickly while also going so embarrassing slowly. It can make a joke out of you at a moments notice and it can also make a champion out of you at a moments notice. Time seems to be about everything that matters in life. The problem is that you never know how to get a grasp of it and just slow it down or speed it up because it never strays, never stops, never whines or complains. It just can sit there staring you in the face, in the gut, in the heart, or right straight in the middle of your eyes. Time can seem to stand still, and then one minute or even one second later it seems like it's just back to ticking away. It might give you a nice pleasant nod ever once in a while, or it might just stop by to punch you in the gut for a while, but what I have figured out is that time plays no favorites. It can love you or hate you at any present moment. You need to meet a deadline, it's there; you need a minute to catch your breath after life just blows you away in the best way, oh wait there goes your minute. No matter what, no matter how hard you try you just can't seem to beat this riddle, this joker, the one thing that never changes is time. How ironic is that? The one thing that never changes is time. Destiny waits for no one right, well let's get cracking at this destiny thing, because we are definitely running out of time to make it happen.

Thank you for your listening,

Your ever faithful friend on this crazy journey we call life,

Brian Robert Gardner  

"Lightning could strike"

I have recently discovered that I have a talent for singing, so I just wanted to write a post on the topic of finding out new things, and discovering great gifts even a bit later in life. No matter who you are or how old you are, I know it is easy to stop getting excited about things in this life. But I am a living testament to the fact that there is always room for surprises and great gifts to come even when you least expect it, in a hopeless place, or just generally down the line and later in life. But I am here to tell you that no matter what or who you are, and no matter what your circumstances are, you can still pursue all your dreams, passions, gifts, talents, and just generally those things you have always regretted not taking that chance on in life. There is a great quote from the equally great film, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," that states: “For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” This quote sums up my point entirely. I have been dancing since the age of 12, but not until a couple of years ago did I pick up the talent for and start truly dancing in the form of ballet. It has been a wild ride, but I am so glad I was and am able to say that I found these two great art forms of ballet and music, in the form of singing and a little bit of piano, a little bit later in life. Even though they have been there the whole time, having played piano for 6 years earlier in life and have been dancing since 12, it's just great to have that release to go to throughout the day and be able to express myself creatively, athletically, passionately, artistically, and individually. But I don't want to talk just about myself, so I am genuinely pleading with everyone to always be open to new opportunities, to always take life as it comes at you, and to never, ever stop believing in yourself, and in the notion, "hey why not me?!" Always search for the greater meaning, and never stop looking for opportunities to broaden  your horizon, and hey maybe one day you'll end up discovering something about yourself you never thought possible. Just stay open to it, because to borrow a quote from another Brad Pitt movie, "lightning could strike," at any time.

Thank you for listening

Your ever faithful friend on this crazy journey we call life

Brian Robert Gardner