What are we waiting for?

When you get depressed where do you go to find solace, peace of mind and a little hope? I go to a friend, to a place where no can find me, and still it's very hard to find a moment of peace amidst this world of so much well, fear. Where in the world are my fiends and why can't we meet? A happy moment, a sad one, an emotional one, and well what do you get, a day in the life of Brian Gardner for one. It's time for a change in my life and all I need to know is where do I go when it's time to leave the past behind and head fora brighter future, well I don't know, and if I did I would not still be typing this blog, I would be out living my life instead of hoping for it to change.

At the end of the day

Once we look back on life, what will say? What was it all about? Well it was about love, it was about regrets, and well it was about the journey. The joy is in the journey, and the end result, it can be about both, and yet all we need to know is that if we keep hoping and never start living then we will have never really learned how to accept and enjoy the ups and downs of life while learning that life is about dancing in the rain while waiting for the rain to stop and the sun to start shining. Rainbows will come, the rain will dry and once it does glorify in it, love it, live it, and always remember what got you there.

Life and Love

Love is beauty, love is hope, love is all knowing, all forgetting, all love might be summed up in one sentence and that is complicated. I hope and yearn for love, I look for it, search for it, and one day hope to find it, where I'm not sure all I know is it might be somewhere closer or farther than I think. I look around and see beauty and love but I cannot grasp it, sense it, touch it, it eludes me, it's like it wants to touch me feel me hold me, and yet I cannot grab hold, I just wait and wait and one day I hope it will find me while I am dreaming of someone to touch me and take me on the ride of my life.

"Fashion fades, style lasts forever" Eves Saint Laurent

I was watching Breakfast at Tiffany's again today and I could not imagine a more beautiful woman than Ms. Audrey Hepburn. Her ease, her beauty, her fluidity, her style, her serenity was unimaginably good. I believe style and fashion can change the world, it has power and it is truly inspirational. If you look closely you can see well beauty that goes beyond the outside and flows into the inside. Look at that beautiful woman and see a little smirk sometimes that says if you be happy then you will be beautiful. Be healthy, be happy, be wondrous, be who you truly are then you will be truly beautiful. I want and wish for all the world where we look at each other and say wow you make me feel happy and I want that in my life. Audrey inspired the world and I love her for it, and I always will. Style, beauty, ease, serenity, don't we all seek it, don't we all desire it, don't we all find it to be well inspirational to the point that we say thank you Audrey we love you, we miss you, we hope you are well, well then let's bring that style back! She is an inspiration to me and all I have to say is thank you for your beauty. I try to bring that into my life and go from there. Just feel the flow and the rhythm of an Audrey and might just find that you've got all you need right within yourself, so go seek it, find it, and let it fly.

What matters in life?

When things don't matter in life, they tend to be the best part of life. When you reach serenity you tend to find that life is better than you could ever think it could be, You don't say I wish or I hope you say thank God I have made this far and have accomplished so much. Do you tend to be grateful? Do you look at life differently and say I have accomplished enough let's move on or do you tend to say I don't care anymore. I look at life and say why do I care so much? Why do I give a fuck? Let us all take a look around and say does this matter? To me it does to others it doesn't.

Love in the real world

Where I have found love is in the journey of life. With the ups and downs we find that love can hold us up even when we are in dire need of real love. I look to friendship for love, not always for physical and sexual love to be the love that might be the kind of love you need right now. What we need is always not what we desperately want, but it can can help us get to where we have always and will always want. First we find friendship then we find best friends then we find what has always been wanted by friends who are far away yet so close. I desire love, true love, yet cannot always or really be had, it is a hard balance but it can be dealt with by having a friend who truly loves you for who you are and who you will be. Friendship can heal wounds, lift barriers, give hope, and help you find who you truly are amidst a relationship that hasn't yet begun.

Acting in the real world

We are all actors according to Marlon Brando. And I wholeheartedly agree. When you change outfits, do you not feel like a completely different person? If you are wearing casual versus dress up you are a completely different person are you not? When you wear a different pair of shoes or socks don't you just feel different in the ones you are wearing depending on the type and the feel of them. You might feel less confident or more confident, or you might feel more beautiful or you might just feel weird or off or maybe you might feel just right on the money. Every where you look people are hiding or showing off or they are just being themselves, and boy let me tell it is hard to play yourself in this world of ups and downs and positives and negatives. Sometimes you just got to fake it until you make it you know what I mean. If you are faking it you will eventually catch up to who you really want to be and I guess that's the whole point. As we live day to day just look around and see how everyone is usually and often playing a character of some type. Whatever that person is doing they are playing a role. A father, a mother, a sister, a brother, and so on. We are all just faking it most of the time, and once we hit the jack pot and figure out who we really are well then we'll probably be just fine and happy as can be just like it should be, and that is what we are all looking for everyday, and that's just what I believe at this point and moment in my life. So keep going, never give up hope, and always, always, stay true to yourself and you'll be just fine.

Signing off for today

Your faithful friend on this crazy journey we call life

Brian Robert Gardner