Do I disturb the Universe?

T.S. Eliot

The life well lived

The life well lived.A hope springs anewThe season changesA new love is foundA beginning beginsA mark of a new day dawningThe sun risesThe sun setsThe clouds partThe sun shines throughThe light spreads againAnd now we begin againThe flowers are bloomingThe trees springingThe winter cold endsThe warmth of a new season beingsSpring is upon us; with it new lives,New loves, new responsibilities, a new life to live.The thaw is melting, the grass is growing, and weStart to let the winter doldrums fade away.As we look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel,That light has now arrived, and we are basking in it;The beautiful dawn of a new day, a new hope, and a new day.Let us begin again.

The days grow old

The days grow old

The calender turns it's pages;
one by one, day by day.
We search for meaning, for love lost, for hope to be found.
We are bound by nothing, free to be and live our lives with
a new found joy for the life well lived. The hell is over,
the heaven begun. Our yearning has been fulfilled, and we once again,
are fulfilled. Our young lives our full of endless pages of new beginnings,
and yet the book is not nearly finished. The yearly pages our full of old
becoming new, new becoming reality, and dreams becoming fulfilled. We search,
yearn, hope, and yet who knows what the next page holds. There is a number at the bottom of the page but the page is filled with blank and empty lines, ready at any moment to be filled in, to become memories. Memories of a life truly lived to the utmost desire. We shall not yield ever. We shall live forever. We shall become immortal. Our fountain of youth has been dipped in twice, and we shall never fail to stop living. Not for one second, one moment, one note could change everything. We do not wait for the perfect moment, we create it, never holding on to that truth, to that one moment that could change our lives forever. We let go, and let nature take over. We dare to disturb the universe without fear and while they talk of Michelangelo we go paint our own Sistine Chapels. We don't talk about it, we just do it. We create, we live, we love, we never stop living to hope, we just turn our hopes into reality and we don't wait for our flowers to stop blooming we keep growing taller while others weep yonder a midst the wallflowers. We pull from the wall all of those who wish for better lives, and we never stop to wonder what might have been. When our lives are over our tombstones will read no regrets ever, rip forever.

Faith precedes the miracle

A dream begun. A hope fulfilled. A mystery unlocked. A life well lived. A faithful journey becoming a miracle. The way it goes, the way it flows, the way it let goes, the wind continues to blow, the rain falls, the sun shines, the earth groans, the universe smiles, the heavens open, and all begins again. The circle of life as we know it, the only thing that we know is that the truth is all that we have. Nothing less, nothing more. I believe in life, even when life didn't believe in me for a while, I never gave up on it, and I know it in my soul that it will repay me, completely and four fold. I never lost hope even during the ups and complete low downs of the mystery that we call this life's long journey. Life is about hope, redemption, not fear or lose, but faith and re-connection. We will all gather together and what was once lost shall be found, all that was once gone will be redeemed and all will bow on one knee to the Master. And I hope when my eyes are full of tears, He will ask to me arise and come forth and receive my glory next to Him and His Father and in my mansions above. Until that day I will continue to let go and live freely always knowing that if I fall He will catch me and I will rise again and be free forever.

Stop Hoping and Start Living!

The Craft of Acting

After I decided to devote my life to craft of performance art and all of it's subsidiaries, including fashion, dance, writing, and acting, I wanted to go at it full esteem ahead. I have trusted my gut so far, and I hope it all works out. But for today's message of hope, I just wanted to talk a little bit about what I learned about the craft of acting and how it can be used and can affect all of us in our everyday lives. The art of film has come to be known as all of the other art forms put together. I would agree. The first goal of an actor is to entertain. This is always the first goal, no matter what anybody says you watch television, and go to the movies and to the theater to be entertained. But if you can go beyond that as an actor, then what a special treat it is to go beyond that and find something deeper. Because if you can go beyond the entertainment, and get to the inspiration part then you have hit a gold mine. But if you can get to the almighty holy grail of art, the truth or a moment of truth, then you have really set a standard to be broken. My mentor Martin Donovan would always get us up in front of the camera and keep going after you and after you until you would or could finally come to some of moment truth before he would let you sit down. You could always see it in class, and you would say oh yep there is the perfect time to stop, and you would hear him say "and cut." It was such experience to be trained by the man who has helped and been involved in the actor's lab of training the greats such as Daniel Day - Lewis, Will Smith, Jude Law, Colin Firth, and Mark Walhberg. Martin has always been known as ahead of his time, but if I knew all of this before I started working with him at the Playhouse in West LA I probably would have bowed out sooner rather than later. I have never had to bow out with Martin because after having spent so much time training with him, he has become a friend and someone who could open a lot of doors for me in this business with our show that we have been working on for so long. Anyway, back to the message of hope, I will just share this quote from the great and most astoundingly beautiful actress Audrey Hepburn: "I am proud to have been in a business that gives pleasure, creates beauty, and awakens our conscience, arouses compassion, and perhaps most importantly, gives millions a respite from our so violent world." This sums up exactly what I mean to say; to go to the theater and to be able to finally get a rest from this world and all of it's daily ups and downs is why I go to the movies and is why I am devoting my life to them, and other types of performance art. It is the hope and the faith and the inspiration that films can give to someone to live another day, to keep going, and to not ever give up on one's dreams ever. The great Michael Chekhov said this: "They are perilously prone to forget that the real task of the creative artist is not merely to copy the outer appearance of life but to interpret life in all its facets and profoundness, to show what is behind the phenomena of life, to let the spectator look beyond life's surfaces and meanings. For is not the artist, the actor in the truest sense, a being who is endowed with the ability to see and experience things which are obscure to the average person? And is not his real mission, his joyous instinct, to convey to the spectator, as a kind of revelation, his own very impressions of things as he sees them and feels them?" Martin has taught me in the ways of Chekhov and Meisner, the ways to let go and just be in the moment. The real truth of acting, and this is where life and art I believe imitate each other and meet is that if you try too hard you are going to fail. I mean that in good way. I am not saying that you should not try, I am saying that just like from the New Testament of the Bible that the whole point of life is to lose yourself to find yourself. To give up and succumb to the moment, and to act and live in the moment in the now, is one of those wondrous things of this world. To have that relaxed concentration that you must have as an artist, actor, and performer, whether in acting or dancing, or theater acting is the key. The key is to just let go and go with the flow and the atmosphere of whatever this or that moment might have. To feel it, to just let go, and let your instinct or subconscious take over is when it really gets fun. I could get into the pure freedom of egotism that the subconscious depths have, but that is for another time. Just remember that the meaning of life, is the same as the artist's meaning: the search for truth. Once we find that truth and that love, hold onto it because it could slip away, but the key is to just keep pushing forward and holding onto that truth because tomorrow the sun will rise, who knows what it could bring?

Philip Seymour Hoffman: One of the greats.

When my brother Russell texted me the news that one of the greatest actors in the world Mr. Philip Seymour Hoffman had died today I was shocked. As I continue on in life it seems to me that I keep seeing death everywhere, and mostly at young ages. From Cory Monteith, Paul Walker, and Philip Seymour Hoffman and someone very close to me personally, I don't have any words to describe what it's like to lose a young loved one too soon. It was and still is all a haze. Every day it gets a little bit better, until something comes up to remind me of my brother Scott. A song on the radio, something, anything, can trigger memories. All I have to know is that he is ok, that he is safe, happy, and free. Free from all the problems of this world, and in a much better place. I will love him always and miss him until the time comes for me and my family to all be reunited in heaven. I feel his love, guidance and peace everywhere. He is my constant guardian, and I am so glad I had some time with him before I left the house to get to know him better and to spend more time with him. He was and is always so loving, kind, and so funny! He always made me laugh with his witty comments, and I know he struggled so much that while his death was and is tragic, I am happy to know that he is free from all the worldly things that can affect us all so much. He is my guardian angel and I know he is making progress in Heaven everyday. To lose all of these people who had so much talent that they could offer to the world is tragic. I hope and wish the best for all of them, and know the Lord's plan is perfect and that everything has to happen for a reason. A wonderful man in our church ward sang the beautiful song Bring Him Home from the greatest musical of all time Les Miserables at my brother's funeral. At first we didn't think it would fit with the circumstance but it truly did. The Lord brought him home and will bring us all home and I truly know we all will be resurrected. The Lord's Atonement always comes to my mind in times such as these. With all of these tragedies we can all know that everything will work out in the end. The Lord Jesus Christ sacrificed his life for all of us and what peace that brings to the soul, heart, and mind to know this truth and fact of life. The most ironic part is that the Lord gained the glory of the world by doing the opposite of what you would think to do. He sacrificed his life instead of the great deceiver who wanted all the selfish glory. We all should lose ourselves to find ourselves. The Lord and His Father, our Heavenly Father wants all of his children to succeed and "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." This is one of my favorite scriptures of all time and can be found in The Pearl of Great Price in Moses 1:39. It is powerful beyond measure to know that all the Lord wants for us in success in mortality and if we hold onto our faith and hope, and that iron rod forever, we will be brought be back into his presence cleansed and free from sin and be saved in the kingdom of God. I hope everyday for more happiness and for more happiness and joy and peace in this fallen world. Our goal is to overcome this fallen state and become one with the Lord and His perfect Gospel plan. As we all hope for success, peace, and hope in this life, and continue on our path to immortality and eternal life of man, God's greatest gift, I hope for all us in this world to have peace knowing that everything will be right and all will be rectified according to the Lord's will and sacrifice for us all. Sending peace and love to all of you my friends, I am signing off for today, and thank you for listening. Brian Robert Gardner

P.S. On a lighter note go BRONCOS!